Thanksgiving Leftovers

It is IMPOSSIBLE to explain the concept of a blog to people who don't even have dial-up.

Yai has a computer for the sole purpose of playing solitaire. She doesn't turn it off because she wouldn't know how to turn it back on. Her opinion of the internet is that I should be careful, because the internet is where girls get stalked and hunted and molested. Gram thinks her cordless phone is called a cell phone. Alternate realities.

I needed to unplug. Even though it was painful.

Quality family time was much needed and enjoyed. I hadn't seen my cousins in a while. Nick, a 7th grader, is taller than me. And has dubbed me La'Maria after I showed him La'Sarah. Glad to see I have the same sense of humor as 7th grade boys.



I missed some great That's What She Said moments. Luckily, Steve and I were able to share them with silent nods of recognition. We were censored for most of the trip. Except when we were with Yai. So basically for just a couple hours at nouna's.

Jokes are difficult to pull off with generational and cultural differences...

My favorite part of visiting family is staying up late at night talking.

Last night at the dinner table at about 10 PM, Yai announced she had a joke to tell us.

Yai: Ok. I have a joke.
Maria: Oooh!
Yai: A long time ago in a small village in Greece, there was a donkey...
[Maria and Steve erupt with laughter]
Yai: What's so funny?
Steve: Jokes don't usually start like that. They're usually about something racist or sexist or gross, not small villages in Greece.

Yai finished her joke and had to explain the punch line because we didn't get it.

Steve decided to share a more modern joke about three hungry guys who go to a stranger's farm asking for food. The farmer lets them pick whatever they want as long as they show him before they leave. The first guy comes back with grapes. The farmer says, "you can have them but you have to shove them up your butt."

Here's the end of the joke. Yai needed some explanation too.

Generation gaps. Such a pain.



Telling Dirty Jokes With Yai from Maria F on Vimeo.

The new face of Cinammon Toast Crunch

Steve: What time do you eat dinner?
Gram: Oh about 3:30.
Steve: WHAT?
Gram: Well, I get up and have breakfast at 5 or earlier. Then I have lunch at about 10:30. Then I have dinner at about 3:30.
Steve: What time do you go to bed?
Gram: Well, it depends if there's a game on. I'll stay up to watch the games so sometimes I don't get to bed till 10:30 or 11.
Steve: Don't you get hungry?
Gram: Oh I found a delicious cereal that I snack on sometimes.
(reaches under counter and pulls box of cereal in front of her face.)
Gram: Have you ever had it? It's delicous!
(holding Cinnamon Toast Crunch like she was the first to discover it)

Lamb and Boxing

(On the phone before our journey to Western Mass)

Yai: Angelo, you have beer for the kids?
...
Yai: We have beer, wine and ouzo!

When we arrived Wednesday, Yai had a leg of lamb cooking in the oven. For dinner we had lamb, skordalia and beers.




Yai: Angelo, you're drinking beer from the bottle like a teenager!

She tortures that poor guy. Emotionally and physically.

I will puke if I see another turkey.

INTERNET ACCESS!!! A precious commodity when staying in Western Mass with the grandparents.

We just left grandma's. I will never take home cooked meals for granted again. This Thanksgiving has been fantastic. Haven't had to cook or clean at ALL! SWEET!

For some reason, it's assumed that Steve needs mounds and mounds of food or he will die. And Maria? She'll be fine.

Gram and Yai have been cooking for days in order to provide Steve with adequate "to-go" boxes. Yai has a spiral ham in the oven and made an extra turkey earlier. Gram prepared days in advance.

Tonight at dinner, Steve made me surrender the last 7 leaves of lettuce in my bowl right before informing me I can forget about eating any of the Polish sausage gram made him. Don't think I'm getting my hands on any spiral ham either. Such is the nature of holiday's with the human disposal.

Steve's box of goodies:



Maria's box of goodies:



Maybe that's a hint that I should watch my figure to find a husband. Pressure's on. Literally someone mentioned marriage last night. In reference to an approaching event. Did I mention my family is delusional?

If I am asked one more time what my plans are for after college I will stab someone with my half of the wishbone.

When Thanksgiving bites back.

Thanksgiving Feast #1: Devoured with great success.

Tara decided it would be mandatory to host a Thanksgiving party in our room. She organized it. I helped.

Long live Team Taria.



I lobbied to enforce a strict "Pilgrim or Indian" dress code but the only one who complied was Meesh. (Who was lovingly referred to as a "NavaHO" for the rest of the night.)



The initial thought of 20 people in our tiny apartment was a little daunting but the preparation was fun. We were a little worried there wouldn't be enough food but ALAS! We have a fridge full of delicious Thanksgiving leftovers. Including but not limited to:

The remainder of the divine 20 lb turkey Brian carved after Noelle cooked:



... and delivered atop a shopping cart contraption:



Delicious ricotta stuffed shells thanks to my mom's recipe and my mad cooking $killz:





Heath Bar/Pudding/Cake Mass of Heaven (that I've been told I have to recreate when I get home):




While standing at our massive buffet of scrumptious food...



... Noelle and I both eyed the corn bowl.

Noelle: Wellp. Everyone'll be seeing that later tonight.

The wine was fantastic. The food was fantastic. The company was fantastic. And in true Family-Holiday-Gathering form, the night ended in injury.

I stood in the kitchen frantically washing the growing pile of dirty dishes. Reached for the aluminum can opener Tara used for the cranberry sauce. Tried to quickly scrub it with a sponge. Instead sliced open my thumb and watched as the blood poured. I left it under water watching the red fall into the drain while repeating Tara's name until she came over, dialled her mom and announced my injury.

Christina sprung to my rescue.

Christina: Girl. Sit down.
Maria: I'm fine.
Christina: GIRL. SIT. Elevate your hand and press this towel against it.

For a second I thought I'd lose my thumb. But I just ended up with this little cut. Which is a lot more badass in real life.





So glad I'll have a scar to remember our first ever Big Girl Party!

Dorm Design with Ali and Maria

One of my top 5 methods of procrastination is decorating. Which is to include organizing. At this point in time, I have so many things to do that my room is almost spotless. An extremely rare phenomenon. [Does anyone else get stressed out by their blog readers? I can't keep up with the 100+ blogs I'm following right now.]

Dorms don't exactly yield favorably to my design genius. BUT my roommate Ali is a clever and resourceful asset when these problems arise. Which is why we decided to form one Super Team of Fantastic Design. Here is one example of our mastery at work.


PROBLEM: Hanging pictures without a hammer.

SOLUTION: Find something else.

YOU'LL NEED:






INSTRUCTIONAL VIDEO:

Dorm design with Maria and Ali from Maria F on Vimeo.



FINAL RESULT:




E-mail Ali and Maria all your dorm dilemmas!

.

Things that happen after concerts:

1. I can't stop listening to the band I just saw.
2. The music sounds different because I'm still imagining the performance.
3. I watch videos of live performances for hours.
4. I gain a new appreciation for songs I either never liked or never noticed. Such as the following.
   

(I can't believe that's him screaming like that...)




I've been listening to Kings of Leon almost exclusively for a week. Today I needed to branch out and incidentally found my new favorite site:

Hype Machine
... Pulls songs from blogs all over the internet by tracking music blogs and posting MP3s on the site. It also has a radio component which plays random music from different genres. It's fantastic. I've already written down five artists to look into.


Check that scene!

Straight but supportive: Protesting Proposition 8

On Saturday, November 15th, roughly 7,000 people gathered ouside Boston's City Hall to protest Proposition 8 and support civil rights. I am proud to say that my roommate, Tara, and I were in the crowd.

We were overwhelmed by the amount of people who showed up, despite the threat of bad weather. The protest lasted about three hours. Though we didn't stay for the entire thing, we saw many passionate speakers. Politicians including US Representatives Mike Capuano, Nikki Tsongas and Edward Markey were greeted by deafening cheers and pumping fists.

... Civil Rights Now

... Hosted by Join The Impact. The people standing on the ledge were eventually escorted by the police.

... The crowd was diverse, not just young liberals. Not just gays.

... Jesus Had Two Daddies.

... Interracial Marriage: 1967. Gay Marriage: ?

... Can I Vote On Your Marriage?

... Equal Rights For: Women (check), Blacks (check), Gays (...)

... Boston Proposition 8 Protest.

How COM Prom was saved... For the most part...

1. Purple Shoes. Thank you, Michael Kors. (I won't even tell you where I got them half-off. We're not on speaking terms.)

2. Jello. Michelle and I had a short photo shoot involving mass amounts of jello consumption.

3. Friends. When it comes down to it, the dress doesn't matter. It's the people you're with that make the night.

How Macy's Ruined My COM Prom.

Dear Macy's,

Thank you for ruining my last Com Prom ever. I am nothing but loyal and what do you do? Let me down when I need you most.

One hour before my guests were due to arrive, I stepped out of the shower, took my dress off the hanger and prepared to put it on. Instead, I shrieked at the sight of the ink tag... the four inch long and one inch wide ink tag... still on the side of my dress.

How could you?

I spent the next hour trying to decide whether I would go to Park Street and start screaming at someone, not go to Com Prom, wear the dress with the ink tag anyways or settle for a dress I'd already worn. I watched a YouTube video about how to take off ink tags but it was geared toward shoplifters with fancy tools I don't have.

I didn't wear your dress, Macy's. I brought it in on Saturday to return it and the cashier didn't even care. I told her I had nothing to wear and she said, "Aww. That's awful."

YES MACY'S. YES IT IS AWFUL.

You should really work on hiring people who pay attention. You might also want to work on your customer service. And anyone shopping at Macy's or elsewhere should keep an eye on those ink tags.

I don't know if I can ever go back. My fury can not adequately be expressed. The wounds are still fresh. You really let me down.

We're over. I mean it.

Maria

Senior Hard Hat Party

Friday was one of the longest days of my life.

After work, Ali and I went to the senior reception. We were very excited for the StuVi 2 Hard Hat event. The new dorms won't be finished before we graduate so it was a way of giving us a sneak peak, even though the interior is not finished.

We walked over, were given hard hats and joined a huge crowd of seniors, who were dancing, decorating their hats, drinking and eating. We got a beer and mingled with friends and people we hadn't seen since freshman year.

The event was a lot more fun than I expected. It was great to see everyone and it was a really relaxing but fun way to get seniors together. AND we got to keep the hard hats. Sweet.



When the Hard Hat Party ended, the BU band showed up outside and played some rally songs. That experience was unusual since traditional school spirit is almost non-existant outside the hockey games. It was fantastic! A string of drummers ushered everyone down the street to the basketball game. We followed the music and then peeled off to get ready for Com Prom.


BU Band from Maria F on Vimeo.

Kings of Leon and Jello Shots

The Kings of Leon concert was AMAZING.

The show was at the Orpeum Theater. It was my first time there and my first time at a concert where people sit. A little strange.

My seat was next to two girls who ended up being awesome. One is a DJ for 92.9 WBOS. Her roommate works at Mass General. They were really friendly and had great stories. We all got giant beers and danced together as Kings of Leon went through their set list.





I am so happy I went. They played a lot of songs I love. Like Razz. Although they played it a little too slow. But that's ok. They sounded just as good, if not better, than on CD. They played Four Kicks, which was fantastic. If I could have requested one more it would have been Red Morning Light. Maybe next time.

Here's their new single.


After I got home, I prepared for our final Com Prom by mixing up four batches of jello shots.


JELLO SHOT RECIPE (from drinkstreet):

6 ounces Jello (large package)
16 ounces Water (boiling)
6 ounces Water (cold)
10 ounces Vodka


Mix the jello mix with the boiling water until the powder is fully dissolved and add the cold water and alcohol. Pour the cooling mixture into either shot glasses or paper cups. Shot glasses are more attractive, but drinker can turn the paper cups inside-out to more easily eat the alcoholic jello.

We still have a ton in the fridge. Apparently I made too many...

Great [Craigslist] Success!

This morning when I woke up to study for my anthro test, I decided to look one last time for a single Kings of Leon ticket being sold. I found one on Craigslist, e-mailed the seller and set up a pick-up time and location.

All day I was plagued with terrifying premonitions of my life ending in some cold, moldy basement in Brookline while some large, hairy man stood over me holding a meat cleaver, chuckling that I would be so stupid as to fall for his trick.

This is why I mass texted my friends with my whereabout and sent several Twitter notifications and tried to call my mom so I could talk to her while meeting this stranger... just in case.

Man did I feel stupid when the guy bashfully approached and handed me the ticket telling me how he couldn't go tonight because he'd be at the Patriots game. (I'll just ignore the extortion facilitated by Craigslist. Let's not talk about the price.)

Later my mom called and said, "I don't like that Princess Peanut! Never again!" The Dad Approval Rating of my actions would probably be somewhere around -27%.

BUT. I've wanted to see Kings of Leon for a very long time! And now I will!

Long Live Craigslist!

Protest Proposition 8 in Boston and Nationwide

YOU ARE INVITED

Saturday, November 15th you will find me at City Hall and the Boston Commons protesting for what should be common sense but is sadly difficult for some people to comprehend. They'll be getting a lot of help on Saturday; this protest is nationwide.

Find out where your city is protesting and do something to benefit this world instead of staying in bed until 3 PM eating Pringles and watching re-runs because of your terribly hung over. Grab your sunglasses, make a sign and let's get down to business!

BOSTON INFO

Why: Because it's bad enough only two states legally permit same-sex marriage.
Why else: Because history didn't stop when Obama was elected president.

Where: 1 City Hall Plaza
When: Saturday, November 15. 1:30 PM
Website: http://prop8ma.blogspot.com/ and http://jointheimpact.wetpaint.com/?t=anon

Via

My personal bodyguards may need to be sedated.

My brothers are psychotic.

Don't get me wrong...

I love having protective brothers. I love knowing I could just say one word and they'd be there to back me up, no questions asked. It's almost unheard of for someone to have your back like that no matter what the situation, no matter what the back story.

This is why you should be scared.

Their protective instincts sometimes interfere with even the last salvageable ounce of rationality usually present in a human being. Especially when my brothers are in Boston and see guys even glance at me.

Joe's favorite thing to do is stare guys down and mutter one or two profane threats just loud enough so I can hear it, knowing the other guy sees his rage and sincerity. Steve gets a little more worked up. He still stares guys down but he usually says, "what the fuck?!" and rambles about it for a little, clearly planning a course of action in his head.

Their threats have evolved into extremely creative and intricate declarations over the years. My mother thinks this is especially hilarious.

Which is why, I presume, she decided to announce to the family, "Maria went on a date today!" Promptly after which I received a text from my little brother saying, "I'm the only Joe in your life." I had just walked in from the gym. When I looked online, he had messaged me demanding details.

Following the harassment, Joe directed me toward my last post of texts, telling me to look at the comments. He didn't like the anonymous text about someone saying they would choke slam me into a bed of nails.

Joe: Don't even start with me.
Maria: HAH.
Joe: Who is it?
...
Joe: Who needs a beating?
Maria: It was [redacted for protection]
Joe: Tell him this exactly:
...
Joe: My brother Joe says he's going to slice off your nutsack and feed it to you like it's grapes. Then beat your skull into pieces.



Don't let these angelic mugs fool you... These boys don't mess around.

A smattering of special texts filling my inbox...

Oct 14 Noelle: I'll keep my eyes peeled for your bod on the sidewalk.

Oct 14 Food and the important men in my life:
Me: Just made the most delicious quesadillas ever.
Steve: Hah you better make me some when I'm there.
Joe: You better made me some son.
Dad: Phenomenal. Maybe we should cancel lunch reservations and have you cook for us?

Oct 14 Katie: I want a manfriend not a boyfriend.

Oct 15 Noelle: Crack open a book not a beer, look at words not pics.

Oct 16 Noelle: Failure is not in your vocabulary mimi. Yes the bomb diggity!

Oct 16 Noelle: P.S. These girls in my class didn't know who Tony Bennett was! I felt mad old to be born in the 80s.

Oct 17 Noelle: Forgot to tell you someone farted on the dance floor and of course I thought of you.

Oct 17 Mom: Chiggy belle! Getting ready to come see my babies!

Oct 17 Joe: I'm going to knock you out. You better not bark at me. I bought an electric collar just in case.

Oct 17 Joe: Fatty fatty boomba.

Oct 17 Erin: Ugh they finally turned on the heat at work and now I'm sweating cheap beer.

Oct 17 Erin: Article in the freep: "twitter, stalking on a whole new level." I thought of you.

Oct 17 Anonymous: I'm going to choke slam you into a bed of nails.

Oct 18 Katie: Ich bin nicht eine crack pot.

Oct 19 Ali (after Red Sox loss): I'm walking into oncoming traffic.

Oct 28 Noelle: I wish he had an Asian fetish!

Oct 28 Noelle: I just can't figure out his type. He just likes white women? That's so old.

Nov 2 Alexis: I just said poop and my friend was like uh did you just say poop... I was like yea it's Maria's fault.

Nov 5 Drew: You know Mrs. Obama got the presidential treatment last night.

Maria's Kitchen Success: Chicken Francese

Lucky for me, my mother is a master chef.

Tonight I expanded my cooking repertoire with mom's Chicken Francese recipe. SO good. I made Noelle come up and eat the other piece of chicken.

I'm going to have to find a regular victim to practice my recipes on. Tara's a vegetarian so that won't work. (Except for when we finally have our Fondue party.)

I am currently accepting applications for Maria's Personal Taste Tester...





Vicki's Chicken Francese Recipe:

• Mix two eggs with salt and Parmesan cheese.
  
• Dry two chicken breasts and coat in flour.
  
• Dip chicken breasts in egg mixture.
  
• Fry in oil until both sides are brown.
• Take chicken off oven and either get a new pan or wash out current pan.
• Put in pan: less that 1/4 cup oil and butter, 1/2 cup chicken broth, 1/2 cup dry white wine.
• Simmer chicken in pan for about half hour.
• Juice a lemon and put juice over chicken for the last 15 minutes of cooking time.
• Devour and enjoy with the rest of the wine.

Mommy?? I'm sick!!

Tonight I downed some more NyQuil. It's my third night doing so. This is combined with a gigantic pill of Amoxicillin and a couple squirts of nasal spray.

MAN! Being sick sucks. It's times like these I regret not getting a flight home for Thanksgiving. All I want is my mommy and daddy to take care of me! That's something I'll never be too old to want.




This evening, my brothers and I all cringed at the Ultimate Fighter in unison, albeit from different locations around the country. Those fighters took pranking to a whole new level! MAN! Peeing in your own fruit basket to find out who has been stealing pieces of watermelon? Even Chris wouldn't go that far. At least my brothers and I are on Verizon so texting is free.

Me: Are you watching this?!
Steve: HAHAHHA YES! This is gross.
Joe: What's his problem? He should be beating all of them right now.
Me: This is going to get ugly.
Steve: Real ugly.
Joe: Haha yea.
[Insert scene where fighters eat almost hatched animal eggs, including partially formed embryo with head and eyes fully visible.]
Me: I'm going to puke!
Joe: I just did a little.


(some things will never change.)

Ode to Noelle: The Halloween Costume That Beckoned The Most Male Attention

You need one of these:




It was a little difficult to drink out of...





...but it was, by far, the Halloween costume that attracted the most male attention. And not in a creepy way. So for future reference... ditch that skank costume and get your hands on one of these babies:



















(P.S. Does anyone know who the joker was? An Tua Nua? Last Thursday? We're dying to know...)