Bitchin Beard: Championship Edition

I've almost recovered from the Bruins' loss to the Hurricanes. It helps that the Hurricanes just got swept out of the Playoffs. About time too. I don't think I could handle one more bad weather metaphor in a blog post.

There is one thing that the Bruins are still kicking ass in. And that's the BEARD-A-THON!!! WOO!!! The spirit of the fans can not be broken. The Beard-a-thon is a way for each of the eight playoff teams to raise money for a cause of their choice.

The Boston Bruins Foundation is a 501(c)(3) non-profit foundation whose mission is to assist charitable organizations that demonstrate a strong commitment to enhancing the quality of life for children throughout New England. ... The Foundation, which provides grants to organizations that meet the standards of its mission, concentrates on athletics, academics, health, and community outreach programs that assist in helping enrich the lives of children throughout New England.

At $93,564, Bruins fans have raised more money than each of the eight other fan bases. 

Let's go $100,000!!! Go donate to someone. 

The lead profit generator is Bob Sweeny, who has raised $21,000 so far.

The final four teams have raised as follows:

Red Wings: $12,874

Blackhawks: $20,002

Hurricanes: $53,680

Penguins: $82,784

Red Wings fans need to step up. A championship means nothing without some sweet playoff beards.

Maybe they should take a hint from this guy.

David Traver recently won the World Beard and Moustache Championship. I wish I knew this was happening! Traver spent 2 1/2 years growing this 20.5 inch beard. Now THAT's dedication.

I want to be on the judge's panel next year, Alaska.

Bitchin Beard: Another use for toothpicks

THIS may be the most bitchin-est beard I've ever seen. Did the girl taking the video seriously count out 2,222 toothpicks? The end result looks like a Chia Pet.

Michael Phelps' Bitchin Beard

I'm sure you heard the BU girls giddily screaming and scraping on piles of make-up before trying to steal a glimpse of Michael Phelps hoping he would leap out of BU's Agganis Arena pool like the MerMan he is and propose to them on the spot. Unfortunately, he was too busy filming a Subway commercial with Jared for the Superbowl. (... my insider sources tell me...)

Reactions to the news of Michael Phelps' presence two feet from my residence were varied. They ranged from "did you tell him your mother loves him?" to "go punch him in the baby maker" to "stop chasing Michael Phelps please" and finally "he's such a goon."

Goon or not. You can NOT deny.

That Michael Phelps.

Has one Bitchin Beard!!!

Forget aerodynamics, Michael. Plus... you can't call someone with a beard "butterface" and you have GOT to be sick of hearing that.






(Previous Bitchin Beard recipients)

Chris' Bitchin Beard

... You had me at beard.


Ok before you say anything...

YES I know I'm in the minority. That is made blatant every time my friends scoff at my admiration of beards.

I can't help it! I'm a sucker for a good beard. This is not to say I am a sucker for all facial hair. Nor all beards. Some are weird. But when I see a good beard, I will point it out and stare.

Chris, my non-biological brother and fantastic weatherman, grew out an awesome beard for No Shave November. (I wish societal norms dictated the opposite: Shave November. No Shave rest-of-the-year. That could get messy. Hmm.)

THIS is a Bitchin Beard.




(anyone have a good beard to share?)