Bitchin Beard: Championship Edition

I've almost recovered from the Bruins' loss to the Hurricanes. It helps that the Hurricanes just got swept out of the Playoffs. About time too. I don't think I could handle one more bad weather metaphor in a blog post.

There is one thing that the Bruins are still kicking ass in. And that's the BEARD-A-THON!!! WOO!!! The spirit of the fans can not be broken. The Beard-a-thon is a way for each of the eight playoff teams to raise money for a cause of their choice.

The Boston Bruins Foundation is a 501(c)(3) non-profit foundation whose mission is to assist charitable organizations that demonstrate a strong commitment to enhancing the quality of life for children throughout New England. ... The Foundation, which provides grants to organizations that meet the standards of its mission, concentrates on athletics, academics, health, and community outreach programs that assist in helping enrich the lives of children throughout New England.

At $93,564, Bruins fans have raised more money than each of the eight other fan bases. 

Let's go $100,000!!! Go donate to someone. 

The lead profit generator is Bob Sweeny, who has raised $21,000 so far.

The final four teams have raised as follows:

Red Wings: $12,874

Blackhawks: $20,002

Hurricanes: $53,680

Penguins: $82,784

Red Wings fans need to step up. A championship means nothing without some sweet playoff beards.

Maybe they should take a hint from this guy.

David Traver recently won the World Beard and Moustache Championship. I wish I knew this was happening! Traver spent 2 1/2 years growing this 20.5 inch beard. Now THAT's dedication.

I want to be on the judge's panel next year, Alaska.

QUACK. QUACK. QUACK. QUACK.

There are two reasons why I have been and will continue to quack all week.

1. Our Broomball team, Gordon Bombay, had their first game last night.
2. I am going to the Bruins vs. Ducks game Thursday.
   

So we decided to organize a Broomball team for our last semester in college. It looks something like this (except Team Gordon Bombay looks less goofy and more fierce):


I most closely resemble Emilio Estevez, so naturally I am Captain of this team. You may have thought I was physical-activity-challenged, but I assure you I am a beast in the face of competition.


Here are some of our team strategies:

1. Growl
2. Scream
3. Push (but don't get a penalty)

We're still working on the logistics. But last night we were victorious. (Do I smell championships in the distance?) Our final score was 3-1 but I'll just call it 4-0 because Team GB scored all four goals.

Our team is amazing. All the guys are superstars who have at some point played hockey (or some aggressive alternative.) All the girls are vicious. Christina has some sweet dance moves when being goalie. Michelle took out a bag of frozen peas as soon as we got home. She landed on her knees three times. I hope she can walk today.

I just want to get back on the ice! After I graduate (in less than three months) I'll have to enroll in an aggressive yet relatively easy-on-the-bones (no breaks) activity. Suggestions welcomed.

Our next game is March 23. There is much to do until then.

1. Design and order team shirts
2. Memorize some motivational quotes from Mighty Ducks
3. Work on my growl
4. Find a photographer
   

Does anyone know a good place to order customized t-shirts???

Your mom's husky!

My Monday consisted of severe harassment from my boss, a Northeastern alum, convinced BU would lose the 2009 Beanpot. Every time I passed his office, I'd hear him yell, "CHOKE!" or "LOSE!" Our insults and curses went back and forth for about a week.

And then came the championship game.

I had ten minutes to change by the time I got home from work. Dinner was a 50 mL Newcastle. Tara and I speed-walked to the T to meet Sean and Mike. A mass of red drowned the land.

Game time.

We took our seats and prepared for battle.

We put the Northeastern starting line in their place.

Northeastern Sucks from Maria F on Vimeo.

We sat next to the BU band who pumped us up during the night. They played Shipping Up To Boston to rile up the crowd.

Shipping Up to Boston! from Maria F on Vimeo.

The game went by fast. One ref took a puck to the face. There were several penalties. But that didn't stop the Terriers from scoring three shorthanded goals. SO exciting! Of course all the Huskies left when they realized they didn't have a chance.

We stayed to sing, hug, laugh, cry and watch the banner fall. (go Dynamic Edition!)

The T ride home was fantastic, even though I was sandwiched between Tara, Sean and a stranger's armpit.

Singing on the T from Maria F on Vimeo.

On our way home we stopped at the Dugout, a bar on campus. It was full of red jerseys still cheering and singing. The hockey team eventually showed up in suits surrounded by their proud parents, siblings and a couple overdressed girls hoping to get lucky.

This is the most school spirit you will experience at BU. Singing in the Dugout on a Monday at 1 in the morning surrounded by the hockey team, Dean Elmore and your best friends.

Go Terriers!

(maybe next decade, Don...)

Dad always has my best interest at heart...

Watching the NHL Superskills and Young Stars Game and texting the old man.

Maria: Found it. I'm watching.
Dad: They had the fastest skater and trick shooting already.
Maria: Oh poop. Some of these guys are dreamy! I'll have to look into the Boston ones. Muahah.
Dad: Check for teeth!

(at first glance)

(a closer look)

Weirdos in Logan, and Other Tales From the Road. Chapter Eight.

Forward
Chapter One: The Shadowboxing Magician
Chapter Two: Bug Eyes
Chapter Three: Lasso of Death
Chapter Four: Future Pilot
Chapter Five: Soldiers Making Out
Chapter Six: Steve Almost Pees Himself. Literally.
Chapter Seven: Schwayze's playing tonight but Uncle Bob is trying to hang a squirrel.
Chapter Eight: On the Ice. Big Mike Scores Big and Anna Speeds Around.

We are finally home! Our luggage is not. But it's good to see family and be out of the airport.

Uncle Bob did,, in fact set up a wire noose to trap squirrels in the back yard. I don't know what he plans to do with them. Or what on earth he's thinking.

We haven't seen our cousins in three years. We catch up in the kitchen and over dinner then head to dad's hockey game.

Dad plays hockey at least once a week. I'm so glad we get to watch! In the bleachers, Steve and Joe scream "Let's go Big Mike!" every time dad hits the ice. I commentate for Anna, explaining some of the rules and the calls. She asks if I'm a Tom Boy.

The opposing team is changing lines. We spot an older man with a white beard, green shorts and bright red socks. He looks creepily like Santa. Another player on the opposite team is bleeding form the face. Did dad do that to him? Santa gets a penalty and is guided to the box.

Dad's the man. He scores two goals, one on an awesome breakaway. He's rising in the ranks of goal scorers for the league. He averages about one goal per game. Tonight he's on fire and leads the team to victory. That's my dad!


The next day dad brings us all ice skating. Anna hasn't been in a while. The last time she went she was injured badly.

What a trooper. She laces up and joins us on the ice. At first she won't leave the side but she eventually picks up the pace and moves toward the center. Dad teaches Dominic to skate backwards.


The four boys play tag on the ice, zipping around little kids and novices. Steve looks like a ninja and Joe is checking out some high school girls in spandex.

Good to be home!

(me and the cousins)

In ten hours I will be the happiest person alive.

All this Mountain Dew has rendered me speechless.



Hey you know what else is yellow and good? The Bruins. The game tonight was fantastic, even though I did miss 3 goals because the TV was on mute so I could study. Yea David Krejci and your super sweet hat trick! You're my hero. (Call me!)



Fiona During Finals:
One of my favorite Fiona Apple songs, Get Him Back. This would probably be on my Life Soundtrack.

This clip is the song and a pretty funny interview during which she has clearly smoked more green than she's wearing on her body.

Countdown to Freedom: Maria’s Checklist

12/9: Theories and Processes of Communication final paper presentation

12/11: Theories and Processes of Communication final paper due

12/12: Office party (woo)

12/13: Secret Santa with 426

12/15: Cultural Anthropology final paper due

12/16: Conflict Res and Negotiation presentation

12/16: Conflict Res and Negotiation final exam

12/18: Cultural Anthropology final exam

12/19: Theories and Processes of Communication final exam

12/20: FLY HOME

Parents Weekend: Wrap-Up

Now wrapping up Parents Weekend coverage...


... So my family moves around quite a bit. When I came to BU they were still living in Zurich, Switzerland. Over the past two years they have moved to Columbus, Indiana and, currently, Detroit, Michigan. This mobility made it difficult for the entire family to be in one location at the same time.


UNTIL NOW!!! MUAHAHA.


Parents Weekend was awesome. I spent several days cleaning and decorating so my mother didn't think I was living in squalor. (And because the apartment needed it... bad.)

Friday afternoon they arrived. Earlier that day I decided to host a pizza party so my friends could meet my family. My family arrived and my friends waited in the room while I retrieved them from the lobby. All my favorite people in one place! It was great.

While Steve, Joe and I picked up four large pizzas from T Anthony's, my friends regaled my parents with tales of my (apparently) good dancing while intoxicated, Xena costume from last year and other fun college memories. In return, my mother shared every embarrassing nickname she's designated my brothers and I. They will not be repeated.

We laughed. We ate pizza. We watched the sun set from the 10th floor. It was beautiful.

Later that evening my family and I went to the BU hockey game. I got five tickets in the student section. I knew my dad would love it but I was skeptical about the rest of the pack. Lucking, everyone enjoyed themselves, especially watching the student section mock the opponents relentlessly.

My dad joined in on many of the cheers, including the one where the announcer calls the names of the opposing starting line and the student section turns their backs to the ice, circling and pointing at the players screaming, "SUCKS!" after their names are called.

Mom thought the "sieve" chants were funny, especially since one kid had an actual sieve that he held up whenever the goalie let one in.

My brothers thought the "ugly goalie" chant was hilarious especially since the opposing goalie got so upset that he cut his drink short to put down his mask and slam down his waterbottle, caving to the pressure.

After the game, mom and dad left while Steve and Joe and I hung out in my room. Everyone came over and we engaged in some responsible icebreaker games, specifically Beirut and Landmines. This was more challenging for some than others.

Enjoy this short video where Brian wins the Special Olympics, Jess displays her true inner Asian-ness, Steve lets out a family secret and Christina is her normal awkward self.


Untitled from Maria F on Vimeo.

Everyone left the room at about 2:30ish at which point I made about 6 quesadillas, two bagels and cleaned the entire apartment... again.

After the boys demolished the food declaring mine the best quesadillas they ever tasted, they passed out, each on a couch. Steve was on the short one so I put my comforter on the floor, made him move and tucked them both in. So precious.

SATURDAY WE...

...went to lunch at the Hyatt. I booked a window seat so we could watch the Head of the Charles Regatta. It was a beautiful day so we took some family pictures. They will undoubtedly be sent out in Christmas cards.





...went to he Pumpkin Festival. I got lost so we took the scenic route meaning we got off at Boylston, walked through the park in the wrong direction, walked back through the park in the correct direction and then walked to Government Center. Family bonding. You know.

There were a lot of pumpkins.... Not much else to say about that. We walked through Fanueil indulging in some delicous desserts.




Thus concluded Parents Weekend. Mom and dad drove Steve and I to Worcester so I could stay the night before his tournament. We parted ways until Christmas.

My friends all agreed they like my brothers better than me. I'd have to agree with them. My brothers are pretty awesome. (You too, parentals.)

Thanks for coming Family Unit!!! Good times.

(...Even though I had to sit bitch every time we drove somewhere.)

If I were Barack Obama...

... for Halloween.

TechCrunch told me that Obama Halloween masks are outselling McCain masks 57% to 43%. Maybe I should join the party. Then Ali (slash Sarah Palin) and I can squander over economic policies and Russia all night when not hunting for needlessly exposed girls to mock relentlessly.

Ooh this could be good.

Marack Obama: Part male, part female, part black, part white, part presidential candidate, part collegiate intern. It's like a Halloween miracle! Or nightmare...

Uh oh...

I feel one of those Saved By The Bell dream-cloud-other-dimension-experience arising...

(Marack and the girls in Boston...)

(Marack and the family at a Red Wings game...)

(Marack pre-shotgun in Ann Arbor...)

(Marack being strangled by a Korean on a roof...)

(Marack being dipped...)

.

Here's a thought...

The Dallas Stars are picking a fight. I wonder if the Red Wings will retaliate at all? Mmm hockey fights.




I wish funny things like this would happen on my flights.

My flight was being served by an obviously gay flight attendant, who seemed to put everyone in a good mood as he served us food and drinks. As the plane prepared to descend, he came swishing down the aisle and told us that “Captain Marvey has asked me to announce that he’ll be landing the big scary plane shortly, so lovely people, if you could just put your trays up, that would be super.” On his trip back up the aisle, he noticed this well-dressed and rather Arabic looking woman hadn’t moved a muscle. “Perhaps you didn’t hear me over those 20 big brute engines but I asked you to raise your trazy-poo, so the main man can pitty-pat us on the ground.” She calmly turned her head and said, “In my country, I am called a Princess and I take orders from no one.” To which (I swear) the flight attendant replied, without missing a beat, “Well, sweet- cheeks, in my country I’m called a Queen, so I outrank you. Tray-up, Bitch.”

Something I didn't know about the Olympics but that is still interesting:

[Choi Jeong] designed the large scale installation that surrounds the jamsil olympic stadium for the seoul design olympiad. choi created the installation using various types of plastic products such as milk containers, water bottles and crates. here are more images of the installation.

Stanley Cup. Game Two.

Red Wings: 2
Penguins: 0


Last night was fantastic. My dad got us tickets to game two of the Stanley Cup in his business suite. We arrived about an hour early and there were already two people there. As we walked into the suite, one of the men, Al, approached the refrigerator and offered me a beer. Al was a short, tan, Hispanic man donning a Red Wings jersey and floating through the room jovially conversing with different people.

Joe and I filled our plates with barbecue and fried chicken, spring rolls, potato wedges and other delicious morsels of heaven left by catering. We took our food to the two rows of bleacher seating overlooking the ice outside of the suite. Mom joined us, found white pom poms and decided to recreate her high school cheerleading routines, much to Joe's chagrin. Dad, who I'm convinced can get along with any person out there, mingled with customers while waiting for the game to start.

The National Anthem was sung my some petite middle-aged blonde with a significant amount of plastic surgery. I know this because she and her family (and mail-order, 20-something year old South American man-slave) were sitting in the booth to the left of us. Joe thought she was "sexy" and somehow ended up with a puck she signed with a heart.

As Red Wings tradition dictates, someone in the crowd threw a boiled octopus onto the ice before the game started. Apparently it served its purpose of bestowing luck upon the team because they slaughtered the Penguins 3-0.

Highlights of last night include:

1. Hanging out with the family and enjoying some of the perks of my dad's job. (We missed Stever though.)
2. My on-demand drink fetcher, Al. I never even asked, he just brought me a steady flow of cold beers.
3. The dessert cart. Turtle Cheesecake was godly and Al made mom and I do Bailey's shots from miniature shot glasses made of white chocolate.
4. Twirling hockey towels to techno.
5. Witnessing first-hand another Red Wings victory in the Stanley Cup.
6. Seeing a fantastic fight that involved several punches to the face and almost every player on the ice. Are those penguins crazy? Don't mess with Osgood.
7. A homemade sign saying something like "Penguins eat their own poop."

On to game three.

Stanley Cup. Game One. Victory.

Red Wings: 1
Penguins: 0

Maria: WOO!! Wooowoooo!! Wooo! I can't wait till Monday! Just wait until the car ride there!
Joe: If you bark the whole way there I swear to God I will kill you.