My, how we've grown.

It's funny how fast things change.

Not three months have passed since Erin and I began planning our book on how to survive college with enticing chapters such as, "What to tell your parents when you're still drunk at noon" and "How to survive an Irish crack den." [Don't worry, dad. These chapter titles are hyperbolized.]

One of the best nights of senior year was Erin's birthday. Our friends came to our apartment where we danced to 90s music, played games and managed to break half our dishes and glasses. Erin, exhausted from the festivities and excitement, fell asleep early. We decided to take advantage of the situation by expressing our love for her. In permanent marker. All over her body. The pictures mysteriously disappeared but it looked something like this, except she was wearing a shirt and we stuffed random playing cards in her clothes:

It seemed like a good idea at the time. We didn't really take into consideration her morning commute to Long Island. Fate mocked her by loading the ferry with inquisitive nuns. Just more proof that our senior year was probably scripted.

Cut to this weekend. The girls of Ann Arbor decided to have a goodbye party involving several popular college drinking games fueled by a keg on the porch. The obligatory "food run" at 2 am lead two of us to Panchero's, where we were told to order two burritos for a straggler. When we returned, said person was asleep on a futon in the basement. Naturally, we decided to pelt the burritos at his face. Luckily, the beans and rice sprinkling out of the the collapsing burrito and onto his face did not disturb his sleep.

That was enough for me. I climbed over a web of high school boys giggling at Dumb and Dumber to claim my couch for the night. My partners in crime decided to dole out some more punishment. They grabbed a dry erase marker and returned to the basement with plans to defile Sleeping Beauty.

Tagger One: Dude, don't draw on his face. He has work tomorrow.

Tagger Two: Ok... Let's get his ear.

And so in that moment, Life After Graduation was defined.

Whereas before we would have dismissed the threats of humiliation and punishment as irrelevant, we now hesitate to hide even two small dots in our drunken friend's ear, fearing the repercussions ushered in with the dawn. Whereas before we would celebrate milestones by staying awake until hours past sunrise, we now consider midnight a feat.

The next morning I woke up under a pile of cushions. I couldn't find a blanket so I burrowed in the crevice of the couch. After determining that there was, in fact, a human being under all those cushions, one of the guys proclaimed, "Well, kids. I can honestly say I'm glad I'm not in college anymore."

I don't know if I agree with him but I do know that that was the most comfortable couch I have ever slept in.

Farewell, Packard house.

Farewell, reckless [permanent marker] abandon.

To Be Installed in my first Big Girl Apartment

Last night the girls and I watched Sex and the City (the movie), which I had not seen for (if you know me) obvious reasons.

This Heineken commercial (sent by my dad) was stuck in my head during the closet scene.






(can I have both?)

Erin's the BEST Secret Santa Evarrr

The second annual Secret Santa Extravaganza occurred last night at 7:30. I originally thought Christina had me... but ALAS! It was Erin all along! Schneaky schneaky.

She made me the funniest card called Being Maria for Dummies with hilarious steps including:

• Have an unhealthy obsession with Ultimate Fighting Championship, martial arts, and sweaty guys rolling around together on the floor
• Listen to all kids of music ranging from Whitney to Kings of Leon to that weird techno house stuff
• Wear all black, all the time. Acquire the nickname 'Princess of Darkness."
  
  

I cracked up.

She also gave me the following awesome gifts:



The Aries glass reads:

Aries, ruled by Mars, is dominated by masculine traits. While you're often described as a multi-tasker, you are unable to complete tasks like applying a postage stamp or brushing your teeth. It's ok to slow down, finish something, and you'll probably smell better afterwards. You will likely succeed in politics. Never reproduce.

The cookbook is awesome. In attempts to avoid homework, I made my first meal from the book "Great Food, Great Beer." Here is my (blurry) pepper steak withi balsamic onions.

Countdown to Freedom: Maria's Checklist

12/9: Theories and Processes of Communication final paper presentation

12/11: Theories and Processes of Communication final paper due
12/12: Office party (WOO)
12/13: Secret Santa with 426
12/15: Cultural Anthropology final paper due
12/16: Conflict Res and Negotiation final exam
12/18: Cultural Anthropology final exam
12/19: Theories and Processes of Communication final exam
12/20: FLY HOME

Lamb and Boxing

(On the phone before our journey to Western Mass)

Yai: Angelo, you have beer for the kids?
...
Yai: We have beer, wine and ouzo!

When we arrived Wednesday, Yai had a leg of lamb cooking in the oven. For dinner we had lamb, skordalia and beers.




Yai: Angelo, you're drinking beer from the bottle like a teenager!

She tortures that poor guy. Emotionally and physically.

Senior Hard Hat Party

Friday was one of the longest days of my life.

After work, Ali and I went to the senior reception. We were very excited for the StuVi 2 Hard Hat event. The new dorms won't be finished before we graduate so it was a way of giving us a sneak peak, even though the interior is not finished.

We walked over, were given hard hats and joined a huge crowd of seniors, who were dancing, decorating their hats, drinking and eating. We got a beer and mingled with friends and people we hadn't seen since freshman year.

The event was a lot more fun than I expected. It was great to see everyone and it was a really relaxing but fun way to get seniors together. AND we got to keep the hard hats. Sweet.



When the Hard Hat Party ended, the BU band showed up outside and played some rally songs. That experience was unusual since traditional school spirit is almost non-existant outside the hockey games. It was fantastic! A string of drummers ushered everyone down the street to the basketball game. We followed the music and then peeled off to get ready for Com Prom.


BU Band from Maria F on Vimeo.

Kings of Leon and Jello Shots

The Kings of Leon concert was AMAZING.

The show was at the Orpeum Theater. It was my first time there and my first time at a concert where people sit. A little strange.

My seat was next to two girls who ended up being awesome. One is a DJ for 92.9 WBOS. Her roommate works at Mass General. They were really friendly and had great stories. We all got giant beers and danced together as Kings of Leon went through their set list.





I am so happy I went. They played a lot of songs I love. Like Razz. Although they played it a little too slow. But that's ok. They sounded just as good, if not better, than on CD. They played Four Kicks, which was fantastic. If I could have requested one more it would have been Red Morning Light. Maybe next time.

Here's their new single.


After I got home, I prepared for our final Com Prom by mixing up four batches of jello shots.


JELLO SHOT RECIPE (from drinkstreet):

6 ounces Jello (large package)
16 ounces Water (boiling)
6 ounces Water (cold)
10 ounces Vodka


Mix the jello mix with the boiling water until the powder is fully dissolved and add the cold water and alcohol. Pour the cooling mixture into either shot glasses or paper cups. Shot glasses are more attractive, but drinker can turn the paper cups inside-out to more easily eat the alcoholic jello.

We still have a ton in the fridge. Apparently I made too many...

Timbaland and I write a song to tell J to back off.

While we're still playing catch-up, let's go back to Thursday real quick.

J had asked me to hang out with him Thursday night but I didn't feel like it so... I told him no. And then, because my name is Maria, he showed up at An Tua Nua. FANtastic.

J: You didn't expect to see me here did you?
Maria: Oh! No... I'm just here having a beer with my friends. I'm not staying long.
J: Cool. So. That movie we saw the other night...

At this point I stealthily escaped by gliding toward some people I recognized. He hovered a little and eventually I moved away completely.

I may have forgotten to mention that J is over 6 feet tall so he's a little hard to miss. All my friends, naturally, thought his presence was hilarious because they love seeing me suffer.

Later that night, I noticed him standing in a near-by corner. Watching me. I was talking to a guy. J was staring. Just standing there staring. I don't know where his friends were. I don't know what he thought was going to happen. But I alerted my friends who, apparently, had already noticed.

By now, the Red Sox (I'm sorry I have to mention it...) had come back from their 7 point loss so everyone was anxiously watching the game. J stood three feet behind me as Tara offered to pretend to be my lesbian lover and Sebastian made fun of him and made fun of me for being associated with him. Unfortunately, it was too late for the I'm-with-my-roommate defense.

The Red Sox won, Drop Kick Murphys roared in the background and I jumped around with Ali. Even Erin got into it. Noelle and Christina, however, were angry and continued shouting, "Tampa, Tampa."

J walked over and went in for a celebration hug. I relocated. J came back.

J: So much for that one beer, huh?
Maria: ... this is still my first, actually.
J: So, do you ever want to hang out again? Because I'd like to see you again but it doesn't seem like you want that too...
Maria:.... I mean... I don't know what to say. I'm just here having a beer with my friends...
J: Well, would you want to hang out next week?
Maria: Seriously I can't plan in advance. I have a bunch of projects and a ton of homework and I can't tell you for sure when we're meeting or what I'll be doing....

This fizzled out eventually.

Ok look. I'm not an asshole. Everything I said was true. I have group projects and a lot of homework. I have a full course load and work three days a week. My free time is precious.

If he had a personality that didn't resemble a TV screen I would be more than willing to hang out with him. But if he's just going to follow me around all night and talk about the same dumb movie we saw over a week ago.... I don't have time for that.

MORE OVER. He actually introduced himself to my friends. Can you believe that shit? If I want you to meet my friends, I will introduce you to my friends. DO NOT waltz over and start asking who is my roommate and introducing yourself. Your presence is noticed. People can see your head poking out of the crowd glaring and shooting the death glare while I joke around with my guy friends.

My mom said I should give him a chance, that he's just shy. I think two dates is enough chance to give. If I leave both dates trying to justify spending more time with him, that's a bad thing.

Strike One: Asking me to see Beverley Hills Chihuahua
Strike Two: Trying to corner me to achieve a good night kiss
Strike Three: Following me around a bar and introducing yourself to my friends.


So Timbaland and I wrote this song to express my feelings toward J. I have provided a video with the words. Feel free to play on repeat and sing along.

Booo creepy Liquor Store. HOOORAY Jake Ivory's!

(If you don't recognize that... watch this...)




Excitement = The Ann Arbor Chronicle featuring my blog (back in July... I just found out) for the following reasons:

Best imagined description of Ann Arbor in recent weeks, from the Meet Me At The Mirror blog: “Ann Arbor rang similar to a cute older woman who used to be a hippy and now spends her days sleeping outdoors and making wacky crafts inspired by her younger, LSD-induced life.” Plus a great narrative about finding a man in the bushes outside her room.

Gross = Liquor Store, the bar we visited Friday night. When I was told there'd be a mechanical bull, I (apparently naively) envisioned beer, cowboy hats, wood and a chill atmosphere. Instead, and this might be offensive to hos and perverts, I was greeted by three stripper poles, old men with cameras and red lighting, akin to whore houses in Europe.

We (Erin and I) feared that come midnight, the venue would transform into one mass orgy. Thankfully this did not happen. What DID happen however was Jess riding the bull. If you listen closely you can hear Noelle screaming, "yeeeeeea girl. Yeeeeea."


Jess Rides the Mechanical Bull. from Maria F on Vimeo.

Fantastic = Jake Ivory's, the bar we visited Saturday night. Located on Landsdowne Street right outside Fenway, the line was daunting but I knew the second we made it inside and heard two pianos playing an Outkast song that it was worth the wait. This duelling piano bar has made it to the top of my Boston Bars list.

Noelle, Tara, Erin and I met four of Erin's hilarious friends from Northeastern. This even number lended well to songs such as I Will Survive, during which the girls song-battled the guys, literally in two lines facing each other. Noelle and I engaged in a beautiful duet to the pianists' rendition of Proud Mary. Many dance-offs ensued. It was a beautiful night. We will definitely be returning to Jake Ivory's. Next time much earlier and with song requests prepared.