[Tomorrow (slash in roughly five hours) my life will change drastically.]
As could be expected, I can't sleep. My mind is held captive by thoughts of tomorrow's departure from home when I will be ripped from the comfortable uterus of home-cooked meals and clean laundry. I will be hurled, screaming, into a city of strangers and a 9 to 5 job I hope I'm qualified for.
While my family sleeps soundly, I torture myself with the prospect of failure and rejection. What if the girls I live with hate me and focus all their energy on harassing me in hopes of driving me out of the house? What if I do something wrong at work and cause the company to crumble and my life in PR to cease forever, forcing my post-college hopes toward a sturdy box on a decent street in Boston? What if that mosquito I just slaughtered in the bathroom has a family that will pursue their vendetta against me by biting me to death in my sleep?
This always happens. I stay up all night before embarking on some new adventure trying to predict all the things that could go wrong. Usually the things I expect to go wrong don't and the things that do go wrong I never thought could. Like last year when I was a camp counselor for the summer. I thought I was going to lose a kid in Boston landing myself a lovely spot in prison for several years, pending good behavior. Instead, I made a lot of great friends and had problems saying goodbye. I sure wasn't expecting to encounter the least mentally stable person on campus. But I learned a lot and had a fantastic time doing so. And I don't regret any of it, not even the lowest points. In fact, I don't regret anything in my life enough to lose sleep over. So that's comforting.
Come to think of it, I'm ready to move on. I'm ready for the next challenge in my life. Time to conquer another city I'm completely unfamiliar with. Time to embrace another mysterious endeavor that will unfold when I actually start living it.
To tell you the truth, I'm pretty damn excited and barking on the inside.
BRING IT ON, ANN ARBOR!
Sunday, June 1, 2008
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