Conversation #1

I'm in Elkart, Indiana in a hotel room with my parents for the weekend. Nuff said.
.............................

Maria: (In bathroom. Looks at ceiling.) Dad? What's that red thing for? Look! There's a button!
Dad: (Flossing) Turn the button a little.
Maria: (Turns the button. A red light switches on.) WHAT?! What's that for?!
Dad: (Looks in bathroom. Floss lodged between molars.) COOKING FRENCH FRIES! (lets out a stream of short hisses like a balloon slowly deflating.)

For everything else, there's Mastercard.