The night I almost killed my dad with my phone charger.

Let me tell you why I need to stop watching scary movies.

Last night I was at home in the basement watching The Last King of Scotland by myself. It ended at about 2 AM. I wanted something to finish downloading before I went to bed so I figured I'd get a snack while I was waiting. I started going upstairs and heard really weird noises. The main floor of our house was dark but I could see the windows were opened and I could hear unidentifiable sounds coming from an unidentifiable room. I couldn't tell if they were coming from upstairs or from the kitchen. I thought it could be Joe sleepwalking and if you try to wake a sleepwalker they could kill you by accident so I didn't want to wake him up. Flashbacks to The Strangers were flowing. I looked around and decided to go downstairs because I'm not a dumb bitch like Liv Tyler and I won't walk into the killer's arms that easily.

I paced the basement wondering if someone had broken into our house. I thought I'd try going up again but I freaked out when I got to the landing and went back to my room. I turned off all the lights in the basement and sat in my room with the door opened. I turned off my computer so I could hear better. All of a sudden I heard loud footsteps. I grabbed my phone and chose my mother's number, prepared to call her if an intruder tried to come get me.

I stood in my doorway trying to hear what was going on. I heard more footsteps. I anxiously searched my room for a possible weapon. In my state of panic, the most dangerous tool seemed to be my phone charger so I shuffled it between my hands trying to decide whether to strangle the perpetrator or stab them with the prongs in the charger. I settled on the latter, holding the charger in one hand and my phone with my finger on the call button in the other. Hearing footsteps approaching the stairwell to the basement I called out, "Joe????"

A booming voice responded.
"Why are you awake? Go to bed!"
Apparently my dad was shutting the windows.
"Maria? Are you ok?" my mom asked in a slurred, groggy voice.
Apparently I'd called her when I heard footsteps by the stairwell.

I have problems.