Weirdos in Logan, and Other Tales From the Road

(Pic)

What you are about to read is the tale of two innocent travelers unwillingly sucked into holiday travel mayhem. They kicked. They screamed. They cursed Delta and every person inside the four airports they saw in two days.

Saturday, December 20th, Maria and Steve left to Logan Airport and experienced six and a half hours of torture awaiting a plane to Cincinnati. After defrosting on the tar mac for one hour, they were flown to Cincinnati where they sat in the airport, two of twenty other stand-by-to-Detroit passengers, only to discover they would be spending the night in Cincinnati.

Shuttled to a Marriott in Kentucky, the two were happy they had free wireless even though there was not enough hotel shampoo to cover both their heads. At six in the morning, they were shuttled back to the Cincinnati airport where they found passengers asleep under benches and familiar yet unshowered travelers they had encountered the night before.

Maria and Steve were flown to Cleveland in a puddle jumper. They were then driven three hours to Detroit with five other strangers. When they arrived, they determined their luggage was somewhere else in the country. A stranger drove them home, where they were greeted by their family, who almost forgot they were even coming because they were trying to kill squirrels in the back yard.

The following stories are true.

Chapter One: The Shadowboxing Magician
Chapter Two: Bug Eyes
Chapter Three: Lasso of Death
Chapter Four: I'm a Future Pilot
Chapter Five: Soldiers making out.
Chapter Six: Steve almost pees himself. Literally.
Chapter Seven: Schwayze's playing tonight but Uncle Bob's trying to hang a squirrel.
Chapter Eight: On the ice. Big Mike Scores Big and Anna Speeds Around
Chapter Nine: Bucca de Beppo: Crop Dusting and Gorging
Chapter Ten: Peppermint Bark.