Michael Victor

Maria and her father, Michael, are going to the dentist on a dark and rainy day in Birmingham, Michigan. Michael is driving. Maria is sitting in the passenger seat.


Michael: (Directed at the car in front of him.) Come on, sweetheart!
Maria: It's a guy, dad.
Michael: I know. I call a guy who drives like a sweetheart a sweetheart.



....
Later that day, Michael and Maria drive to the grocery store.

Maria: We are being so productive today!
Michael: (Nods while devouring the entire core of an apple, leaving just an inch of stem between his fingers.)
Maria: Eeew! You did not just eat the core of that apple. That's disgusting.
Michael: Why? That's how the Germans eat apples.





Ladies and gentlemen, my father. The master driver and barbarian.