Boriana.

The stars were most definitely aligned in my favor today. I got a haircut, found amazing sales and everything I wanted/needed during a mostly painless shopping trip and got a summer internship. Let's take it from the top.

I am in a committed relationship with my hairdresser, Boriana. I hate getting my hair cut because hairdressers love cutting inches off and doing really dramatic and unusual things with my head. Boriana is not like the other hairdressers. Hailing from the deep corners of Russia, she is tall and beautiful with pronounced cheekbones and short reddish-brown hair. When I first met her, I told her I wanted straight bangs and a clean cut on the bottom of my hair. No layers. She questioned me, wanting to give me big layers to make my hair "move better" but I told her no and she cut exactly how I wanted. After, she said it turned out better than she expected. Since then, I made it a point to visit Boriana every time I'm in Michigan. Today was my third time and she knows how I like it. She doesn't make pointless conversation and doesn't put a million stupid products into my hair.

But Boriana is not perfect. In fact, she has a deep, dark secret and I'm totally onto her. Boriana is part-time hairdresser, full-time Russian spy. I noticed this on day one of our relationship. She doesn't make pointless conversation because she is too busy surveilling the salon. Her huge brown eyes peer to the left and right as she grips scissors in one hand and a strand of my precious hair in the other. Most of her attention is aimed at the door to the salon as if she is waiting to see movement outside so she can push a hidden button activating her spy bombs and releasing her carefully stored Kalashnikov. One of her subtle tactics to distract the customer is shoving her indecently exposed boobs in their faces. I fell victim to this tactic several times today. I squeezed my eyes closed because I felt like a creep keeping them open. I wish she would wear a real shirt.

Despite this unappreciated tactic, I love Boriana. She always listens to me. She knows what I like and she gives it to me every time I see her. After clipping the final out-of-place hair in my bangs, she gave me her warm, Russian smile and said sweetly in her strong, Russian accent, "You look like a long-haired Cleopatra."

Oh Boriana. You always know what to say.