People send me funny texts

June 30 Jess: What's a good name for an emo fish?

July 1 Mom: Scrubbing toilets! So hey! It could be worse!

July 9 Mom: Morning! Didn't sleep all night cuz I kept thinking you forgot to close the window you cracked open and the bum from the bushes got in!

July 9 Joe: Word. I would kill someone for a nap right now.

July 17 Alexis: Yea it's official. I'm still drunk and stumbling to work. Late of course.

July 18 Drew: You're not mean just warped and twisted.

July 22 Joe: If I get a virus I'm going to shoot you in the tits.

July 24 Drew: You should rush a frat.

July 25 Mom: Super duper handsome guy with muscles and a tan hanging new gutters on our house right now!

July 25 Dad: You are a business woman now, not a college kid. Change your voice mail recording.

July 28 Bridget: Hahahahaha you slay me.

July 30 Mom: Several home invasions in Ann Arbor with thefts one in middle of the night while the people were home and sleeping lock doors and windows and be careful!