Getting there

I'm back from a week in London and still recovering from the amazing experience. I didn't have time to update while there, but I wrote down what happened and will add now as if I typed when things happened. My traveling partner for the duration was Michelle.

Here goes.....





Friday March 7. 8:50 PM

"Jordan and Fresh... Frank... Fr... Frances. Last call for Jordan and Fraces to gate C96 immediately!"

That was the fastest I've run since the Turkey Trot in ninth grade.

It was another fantastic journey with an American airline. Continental to be precise. Our first flight was delayed almost an hour but according to our calculations, we'd still have time to make our connection. Who knew. An hour later we were still circling around Newark, no ground in sight. Apparently there was a storm preventing a safe landing. Bladders full and delirious from the overwhelming need to pee, we made small talk with a six-foot-something Canadian high schooler with intolerably bad breath. He was a nice young man despite his poor hygiene.

We finally landed after circling the airport at least five times. Everyone was ready to battle to the exit and rush for their connections.

"Elbows up," Michelle encouraged me.

We had a flight to make too, damn it! I almost bowled over some bitchy-looking lady until I noticed she was eight-and-a-half months pregnant. Even I'm not that heartless. We scurried off the plane frantically searching for a departure screen. We found the shuttle bus area, walked on to the tar mack and jumped onto the bus. The driver was talking to someone on his walkie talkie.

Driver: We ready to go?
Michelle: YES!!! GO!!!
Me: ... I don't think he was asking you.

As the bus approached gate C, our large Canadian friend told us to enjoy our run. We bolted up the stairs and started a brisk jog trying to follow signs to gate C96. We were at C73. Finally we found C90, which was when we heard our names echo through the terminal. Michelle championed ahead and I brought up the (far) rear. People stared as we laughed at the sound of the stern employee firmly warning Jordan and Frances that this was their last chance to board the flight to London.

We sprinted forward and finally got on the plane. The doors slammed behind us. Since the flight is about half empty, we got to choose our own seats. We sat down in the middle of the plane, sweating and winded. Michelle and I stared at each other for a few second.

Michelle: You sounded like a horse with those boots.

After taxiing for twenty minutes, we're finally taking off. I hope our luggage joined us on this journey to London Gatwick. Aaaaaaand we're off.



March 8. 6:30 AM

I slept with 200 people last night. Overnight flights are so intimate. I walked to the bathroom at one point while most people were asleep and laughed seeing all their gaping mouths and closed eyes. It's amazing feeling comfortable enough to sleep with a bunch of strangers when you think about it. Thank God the flight was half empty. Some people in the last row built huge forts with their blankets. Michelle and I each took our own rows. I slept with a seatbelt buckle up my butt. It was no Myles Standish extra-long mattress but it was comfortable considering the circumstances.

They are about to give us some breakfast. The flight attendant is an old lady with stringy hair tied back into a long braid that falls to the middle of her butt-crack.

Long hair creeps me out.