Valentine's Weekend: The Breakdown

Valentine's Day 2009

(I guess I should have sent this to Ali BEFORE she purchased a dozen eggs for our first romantic event of the weekend: chucking eggs and happy couples.)

Dates: Ali, Michelle, Katie

Locations: Pour House, our apartment, Green Dragon, Big City

Memories:
(at Pour House) 

Strange Man: (consoling his friend who just faced rejection) Dude, it's ok. You know one thing about tonight. If they're out, they're single.

Maria: I wanna wake up where you are.
Ali: You do. Every day.

(at Green Dragon) 

Bouncer: (to Ali) That's a lot of singles. I know 

what you do for a living.

(a 75 year old man tries to pass us)
Ali: Sorry
Old Man: For what?
Ali: For being in your way.

(old man starts stroking Ali's torso)
Old Man: You'll never be in my way.

(an ex-convict takes a stool next to Ali)
Ex-con: I just got kicked out of Sissy K's for being in a bar fight.
EC's Scrawny Friend: Stop scaring the girl!

Two nights of dance parties to oldies in our apartment.

OJ: Tip your bartenders! Two dollars, not one. For giving you the nectar of life!

(at Big City)
Hot Bartender: You girls are nursing those beers. Do you need a shot to get you going?
Ali: We've been drinking for six days straight...
(bartender snaps around and begins pouring shots.)
Ali: I'm going to leave him your number.

Michelle: Ugh! The pole is in the way. DAMN YOU POLE!
(puches pole)