Things I Never Expected To See In Ann Arbor: Edition One

When I sat in my dorm last semester overlooking Kenmore Square and Fenway, I anticipated my future stay in Ann Arbor as nice, quiet and involving many cookouts. Ann Arbor rang similar to a cute older woman who used to be a hippy and now spends her days sleeping outdoors and making wacky crafts inspired by her younger, LSD-induced life. I also imagined trees. Lots of trees.

Ann Arbor feels relatively artsy I suppose. There are a fair amount of trees. My stay has been enjoyable. I was definitely not expecting the crime rate and sketchiness. Since my first week here I've heard stories of theft and robbery. (I'll tell you when I come home, mom and dad. It's ok.) I've been approached by every homeless person in the city. I've heard gunshots (though some claim they are fireworks) literally right outside my window.

But today took the cake.

8 AM: Standing at my desk preparing for work, I heard a strange rustling noise out my window. My spy senses activated and I stealthily pried one blind from another, peering through a sliver of exposed window. My eagle eyes located a man. Two feet from my window. In my bushes. A MAN IN MY BUSHES!

I stared for a while wondering what I should do, considering I had to leave for work and there was a stranger collecting stolen cans directly in my intentioned path to the bus. Will he attack me? Will he stab me with a secret aluminum knife fastened to his leg? Should I wake up my roommates and notify them of this development? I forgot I was still staring at him. I walked away from the window and paced the house. I decided to text Steve, only later realizing that it would be hard for him to come to my rescue from Worcester, MA.

By the time I finished preparing for work and prying open the blinds again, the man in the bushes was gone. This was my chance. I gathered my belongings and scurried out the door, phone in one hand, keys-evenly-distributed-through-fingers-and-ready-to-stab-if-prompted in another. He must have seen the rage in my eyes and hid because I made it to the bus unharmed. Wise move, creepy man. Wise move.

If I find another man in my bushes tomorrow, we're going to have problems.

Essential Driving Music: This is the jam.

My internship requires hours of blog surfing. I'm not kidding. Today I stumbled upon an interesting prompt; a reader asked one blogger, "If you had to choose 10 CDs to take on a cross country road trip what would you choose?"

Well. I love music. And I love road trips! Therefore this is a fantastic question.

I'm no stranger to long car trips. I make at least two a year (Boston to Michigan/wherever my parents live.) I also inherited my dad's passion for music so the two of us always travel with carefully crafted road trip CDs.

I'll answer this prompt in two parts: 10 CDs + 1 sample car playlist. Test some of the songs/videos. Tell me what you think.

10 CDS I WOULD TAKE ROAD TRIPPING:

1. Creedence Clearwater, Chronicle: Creedence is perfect travel music. In fact, Creedence is perfect any time music. Songs like Run Through The Jungle and Green River mirror the adventurous atmosphere inevitably accompanying road trips. Chronicle provides a healthy balance of songs you love to sing and songs you listen to as you silently stare at the sunset contemplating the life of a nomad. My only complaint is the absence of Good Golly Miss Molly. But that song alone wouldn't warrant bringing Chronicle Volume Two. I'll just listen when I get home.
2. Streetlight Manifesto, Everything Goes Numb: Every fast-paced song tells a story for you to scream along to. Each is exciting and addicting. Sing along, lose your breath and journey on.
3. RX Bandits, ... And the Battle Begun: This CD is simply epipc. It took longer than expected to grow on me but I would never travel without it. I could listen to this CD on repeat for weeks without getting sick of it. The anticipation and excitement felt when some of these songs being is essential when on a long road trip.
   
4. Kings of Leon, Aha Shake Heartbreak: Fantastic CD. Fantastic band. Wrote enough earlier.
5. Celebration, Celebration: This was my best at-a-concert discovery. I've seen them open for two bands in Boston and found their CD at a secondhand shop after seeing them. Celebration is on every Worcester playlist I make. I get lost in her songs. My favorite is Tonight. Of course I couldn't find it. So here's New Skin.
   
6. Blood Brothers, Burn Piano Island Burn: Perfect if traveling alone or with Joe (or someone else who would tolerate it.) Would not play this with mom or dad in the car for fear of inducing heart attacks. When alone, I often scream along with the singer's high pitched yells. Ideally I'd combine my favorite songs of theirs to make one perfect CD. (I have already created one such playlist.)
7. Common, Finding Forever: To lighten things up a little. Something to sooth my throat and get me swaying instead of thrashing around.
8. Outkast, Stankonia: Because I'd need something a little darker. Spaghetti Junction is one of my favorites on this one.
9. Pearl Jam, Greatest Hits: A throwback. At this point I will just want to sing to something a little more standard.
10. Ministry of Sound, Clubbers Guide Summer 2006: Go on. Judge me. But after hours of driving this long, you too would require a good dose of clubbing music. Blast this, break the speed limit, put on cruise control and take out the glow sticks.
    

15 SONGS FREQUENTLY PLAYING WHEN I DRIVE*:

*These are only some of my favorite driving songs. Playlist.com was missing essentials by ACDC, Rush, Johnny Winter and more.

As you can see, I have a problem.

According to you, my loyal readers:

Velveeta Shells taste like plastic, yet are orgasmic.
I'm glad they don't throttle you with diarrhea.
Vote again next poll.

Practicing my dance moves.

Thursday night I caught the second showing of Americas Best Dance Crew. The season started off stupid (umm... Sass Times Seven, anyone?) but it's picking up. ASIID is disappointing. I'm still rooting from them because they're from Detroit and, deep down, I know they can kick ass.

My mind wandered as I watched the show. Things that crossed my mind included, but were not limited to:

• Mario Lopez is annoying and should have given up with the A.C. Slater legacy, which would have been far better than this.
• I wish I could dance.
• Shane Sparks is the man. I love when he gets really excited by a group. This show suits him much better than So You Think You Can Dance.
  
• Mario Lopez is corny and should be bitch slapped every time he says something stupid. Which happens to be every time he opens his mouth.
• Lil Mama needs to check her attitude. She has been in a bad mood for the past two episodes. Someone needs to pull her pony tail out of that awful hat-with-a-hole-carved-in-the-top so her blood can circulate properly.
• I wonder if Lil Mama is an alien?
• We need to form an office dance crew and compete next season. (Yes, you too Nick.)

Watching these dance competitions always remind me what a bad dancer I am. Last semester, Noelle and I were bored one day and decided to search for Harlem Shake videos. We found a very interesting teach-yourself instructional by some spazz with a fake grill in his mouth. We practiced for an hour but our dancing endeavor ended tragically. Most people can attest to the fact that I still look like I'm being tasered when I dance.







Give it a go. Don't hurt yourself.

Things I am craving right now:

1. Candy. Preferably those sugary peach things or fruity Sour Patch Kids.
2. Coca Cola.
3. A leg of fried chicken.
4. A pool and an evening swim.
5. A wide-brimmed, black hat.
6. Boston.
   

Tila. I'm coming for you!

Poor Tila. I just don’t understand. She’s gone through two entire season and still hasn’t found her true love. The poor thing. If even the writers of her heart wrenching “reality” show can’t construct a character for her to fall in love with, she’s doomed. Maybe Kristy will have a spin-off now. At least it’s over.

The way Tila growls “a SHOT AT luuuuuurrvv.” She should have stuck to posting naked pictures of herself on the internet. Oh wait. She still does that doesn’t she? Whatever. Obviously she’s not really bisexual. If she were, she and Danny would be living happily ever after somewhere in San Francisco.

Before plaguing cable television with poorly scripted filth and nonsense, Thien Thanh Thi Nguyen (thank you Wikipedia) was a sheltered kid in a gated Buddhist community who eventually fled the south for big city where she worked in a strip club and began her desperate search for attention via a cold pole and the internet.

But before New York, T-cubed was confused about her race, started using drugs and decided to join a gang. She claims to have punched a girl with braces and rubbed her mouth into the ground. What a bad ass. They should have caught her on Intervention before it was too late.

See you for season three Thien Thanh Thi Nguyen!!!