Addition to the Resume: I am multi-talented! Hire me!

Aaah the job search. Thank you, economy!

We've all read the statistics and seen the news reports. It's all I hear any more. Literally. Jess and I, while walked down Newbury for some coffee last Wednesday, were discussing our futures and the economy when literally two seconds after our first moment of silence two other women passed us talking about the economy's current suckage.

Granted, there are still jobs out there. I've read many posts and articles about this situation especially as it pertains to soon-to-be college grads and one piece of advice I keep hearing is, "don't use the bad news of the economy as an excuse to be passive in a job search."

I have found some very interesting calls for resumes. I saw on Jimmy Fallon that the job of fly keeper or some such thing exists... So I have hope.

Despite the destitute situation for those of us being kicked out of our cozy dorm lives, it is pretty exciting to picture myself in all the new cities and positions of jobs I've been applying to.

I will take this opportunity to expand my resume and suggest positions I would excel in, should a job in PR not arise.

1. Body Guard or Bouncer: I have taken several self defense classes including Shotokan Karate and Boxing. Additionally, I have two very aggressive brothers who challenge (and therefore improve) my skills. Wrestling is a passion of mine and I usually make people cry during games of Civil War. I pretend I'm La Femme Nikita frequently and am not one to shy away from a mosh pit during a good song. I have tricks by which to successfully subdue unruly delinquents.
   
2. Therapist: I have extensive experience in family relations and group therapy. I tend to be the go-to girl when problems arise. Dealing with passionate, Greek family members is tricky and complex but I have mastered the ways of a successful mediator.
3. Hostage Negotiator: For the same reasons as above. Additionally, my babysitting experiences often resembled terrorist negotiations. Threatening to take away gaming consoles and deprive children of pre-bedtime chocolate milk was necessary in some cases but I always won.
4. T-Shirt Vendor: It's always been my dream to tour the country/world listening to live music every day of my life.
5. Washboard player/percussionist-of-sorts: See above.

Let me know if you have any openings for any of the above. Or anything else! I'm open to suggestions and talented across many platforms and arenas.This is only the tip of the iceberg, people!

Text messages are funny

Because my mom is crazy:

Feb 9 MOM: Stinky! Good luck to you and BU in the Beanpot! Northeastern SUCKS! Go BU! Woot! SMS after the game tell me when you guys win! Double woot!

Feb 23 MOM: Pean't butter jelly samich broomball queen with all bones in tact! Woot! Congrats on the first win!

Because sometimes I'm an easy target:

Feb 11 ERIN: There's seriously something wrong with you.

Feb 26 SEAN: [after telling him I was lost at the Bruins game] Get out of the men's room.

March 6 TARA: Oh dear, oh dear. What am I going to do with you?

March 6 JESS: I am going to have the America's Got Talent people sing you manhating Alanis Morisette songs.

March 15 SEAN: If you're late today, I will give you a bruise on the forehead.


Because my friends are funny:

Feb 9 CHRIS: 302. Tamer than Dakota Fanning's sex life.

Feb 16 ALI: Butternut whore squash.

March 12 JOE: Damnit Low-retta!

March 14 MEESH: I came back here and was everyone's clown.

March 15 CHRISTINA: Girl! I just left Don Peppes restaurant in downtown Queens, NY. There was a mafia table and I saw 3 of my future boyfriends who were all waitors there!

Because I'm the boss:

Feb 23 MARK: What are we wearing tonight, el capitan?

... so I carry back-up

March 6 STEVE: I'll come there and kick his ass if you want me to!

... which some of my friends should look into

March 12 MEESH: I look like I was abused last night. Oh wait I was. Sean beat me with a chair and made me bleed!


Words of wisdom for me and all you people out there:

March 18 CHRIS: Keep it clean.

Networking for College Seniors

It has been a very productive week for week for Maria.

Saturday I went to a PRSSA conference, Innovation Through Leadership, and this evening I went to a COM networking event, which included a lesson on networking etiquette.

Free pens = 2
Sweet nametags = 2
Job offers (so far) = 0

HEY! It's only March.

Here were some of the takeaways from each event:

PR Advanced: Innovation Through Leadership

[From Mike Volpe, Vice President of Marketing at HubSpot]

• Leveraging inbound marketing tools changes tactics from interruption based to attraction based
• Create a large digital footprint so people can find you on a variety of platforms
• Measurement of PR is changing; it is easier to track the progress and success of campaigns
• The shift of focus from budget to creativity gives smaller clients a greater chance to be awarded accounts
  
• MARKET YOURSELF

[From Gary Sheffer, Executive Director of Corporate Communication and Public Affairs at General Electric]

• A good reputation is your license to do business
• Public relations must reset tactics and channels of communication to succeed
• News is now a river running past us instead of a train making stops; anyone can throw anything into the river
• Crisis communication and management are increasingly vital

• There are three ways to win in a post-crisis world

1. Social responsibility
2. Transparency and authenticity
3. Engaging communities personally and digitally
   

• The role of communicators

1. Help define a company, not just describe it
2. Develop channels for messaging AND networks
3. Shift perceptions
   

• Gary's Tips For Finding a Job

1. Start right now
2. Every experience is good
3. Do something. Show results.
4. Read the Economist. Then Gawker.
5. Careers are built, not made
   

• It is essential for PR professionals to be news junkies; you have to know what's going on in the world if you want to tell people how to present themselves in the world
• The most important thing you have is your integrity. Never compromise that. I mean never.

COM Networking at the Castle

[From Jodi Smith, founder of Mannersmith Consulting]

• Etiquette is culturally and situationally specific; since corporate cultural differences exist everywhere, there are etiquette guildelines, not rules.
• You have 5-7 seconds to make an impression on someone you're meeting for the first time
• People like to be right; If you make a bad impression, it takes about 14 positive encounters to change their perception.
• Networking, by definition, is strange and awkward. You are going to an event and engaging with a room full of strangers.
  
• Save elevator speeches for the elevator
• People like you better when they can talk to you.
• Asking about business opportunities before engaging in small talk is like asking a stranger to marry you without asking them on a date.
  
• Small talk leads to big talk.
• It is better to be over dressed than under dressed.
• Never go hungry
• Networking: You are a lion in the Serengeti. The others are wildabeast at the watering hole. Find the watering hole and attack.
  

In Conclusion:

The economy sucks. Almost no one is hiring.

BUT.

Market your inner lion, find the watering hole and make the kill! Market yourself. Go to networking events. Leave nothing but a bare carcass.

If it's not Windex...

Yai: You feeling better?
Maria: A little. I still sound like a man.
Yai: What you gonna do about it? Go to doctor?
Maria: No. I'm getting better.
Yai: Why don't you get Sara to rub your back with alcohol?
Maria: Who's Sara?
Yai: Your girlfriend!



For the record:

• Yai = My grandma. She's Greek and sometimes forgets to speak English.
• Sara = Tara (my roommate since freshman year)
• According to Greeks (or at least Yai), rubbing alcohol all over yourself will cure anything.